A Brutally Honest Ponzi

A few days ago, I posted an article about ponzis, and I remarked, how I would love to see a true ponzi with honest information; you know, none of that fancy investment management crap.


So, today, I stumbled upon White-Funds.com. Honestly, the comments there had me ROFLMAO! Seriously. If only all ponzis could do the same, and the world would be so much brighter.

I've copied the main text of the site, and pasted it below for your viewing pleasure.

Round 2 Coming!
More information will available soon...

Hello members of White Funds,

Well, just wished to tell all these happy members who have won this game and unhappy members who have lost in this game, that next round will start after 3 or 4 days and this round has already finished, because StormPay account balance cannot cover pending withdrawals anymore. Well, yes we still have cash in both StormPay and E-Gold accounts and we will pay out all this cash to all those who have pending withdrawals starting with the very oldest one even if it was skipped for some reasons before. I would be really happy if people who have lost their money in this HYIP would not scream and treat me as scam, I said from the very beginning that this is 100% return ponzi and I haven’t lied I will pay out all the money in both E-Gold and StormPay accounts during next two or three hours. And I guess some of you now are wondering – “My deposit has not appeared in my account yet. Why have you stopped making them appear there! You are not fair!” Yes I am very sorry I did not added it to your accounts, however I don’t think there was need for this because I have already seen that they will not get profits from this HYIP anyway. You just entered game too late and that is why you have lost, I am sorry try harder and jump in earlier, when you will play in next HYIP. Thank you for your trust and I hope it will not just disappear because some of you have lost! And one more thing: about StormPay claims, please do not post them, because you entered this game by your own choice, I have not pulled even single one of you in it.

I hope you will play in next round as well! More detail information about next round will be available soon in this page!

p.s. If you wonder how much I earned from this, I should say that I have not earned anything besides the amount I got from my own deposits.

NOTE: I guess some of you think that I have taken all the money that comes from difference between total deposits and total withdrawals shown in statistics. So, this is because “Total deposits” in GoldCoders script does not mean only deposits made direct from e-currencies but also virtual deposits made from account’s balance. So this is why there will be some difference between “Total deposits” and “Total withdrawals” shown in statistics.

Oh and we considered something about first round and now we will know how to make second round better:
- We will do fresh install of script and do a lot of testing so there would be no such StormPay problems!
- We will make lower returns so program could survive much longer and there would be more people in profit!
- We will hire some more staff, so it will be easier to cope with all the problems arisen!
- We will have good server from the very beginning so we will not have any downtimes at all!
- We will add some additional features to script so you could get more information about what is going on with money!


Short FAQ

Why didn't I get my money? SCAM!!! I hate you!
We are very sorry that you ran out of luck this time. This has happened because your money has been paid out to some other members of White Funds. This is ponzi and this is how it works.. If you have requested a withdrawal earlier than other member who got paid, you should consider these things:
- You have requested amount which was not available in StormPay account by the time your request had to be proceeded. So your request was skipped and we proceeded the next request.. Yes maybe you are right, I had to proceed your request with all amoust is available. Sorry, I have not thought of this.
- The other member has proceeded withdrawal using StormPay, and you asked money via E-Gold. E-Gold ran out of funds much faster than StormPay did and I can tell you clear reason why - there were much less deposits using E-Gold in the later days, as well we had not disabled currency exchange in the very first days so some of StormPay was exchanged into E-Gold without us willing for it. Yes, I know, I was responsible for these funds, so you should kill me now.. But better do not do this as you will not have any benefits from this. In the next round I can asure there will be no mistakes like this..
- You haven't had valid StormPay or E-Gold account in your account's information, so I could not proceed your requested withdrawal..

You are cheating cheating cheating! We didn't get paid in order!
Refer to upper post. And also, sorry, I paid in groups, so I might have missed something. I am human and mistakes are part of the game. Cannot do anything about this..

I have not earned anything! Give me refund! I will call FBI!
Sorry, if you are buying a lottery ticket and do not win anything, do you ask for a refund? I guess not. Or if you lose your money in casino, do you ask for refund? I guess not again. I cannot give you any refunds, because I have already paid all money to other users and you are simply the one, who have lost this ponzi scheme. Maybe you will be more lucky next time.

Why did the game ended just then most of 5 day profits had to be paid? SCAM?!?!
No, because it was the same day, we ran out of funds. Of course the fact that many huge profits had to be paid was one of the cause, which strongly decreased our reserve of funds and eventually just made it disapear. I hope you undestand that those who invested in 5 days plan had highest risk! I have not ever promised that I will pay everyone, because I did not add any more funds to program besides those, YOU deposited!

I have not had any profits.. Please pay me.. At least once!
Should I tell you again? Ask those who have profits to pay you! Because all the money deposited is in their hands I do not have a cent left (well.. actually $1.31 of StormPay and $0.21 of E-Gold. If someone really wants these unimaginable amounts of money, please PM me in MMG, I will give it to you!).

I put all the money I had in this! And I lost it! I will die from starving now!
Ah.. There was A RULE!! A LAW!! Do not invest that what you cannot affor to lose!! Or do you usually buy loto tickets from all salary you got!

Stop f**king around! You are scammer! All hyips are SCAM!
I do not know, maybe all hyips are SCAM. But yet, I tried to make fair one. If you are not satisfied with it.. So better leave MMG, TalkGold forums, withdraw all your E-Gold and other E-Currencies and do not ever come back! If you are crying even then you lose in HYIP which offered 100% of deposits paid out, so what the heck are you going to do with ones that offer 40% or 30% or deposits paid out (that is very regular HYIP!)

Admin, where are you?! I want to kill you!
Sorry, give me a rest. After spending five days 18 hours a day next to computer I want just some rest! You will be able to kill me after 2 or 3 days, when I will get back and start preparing 2nd stage..

Update: Seems like the honesty bug has been spreading. www.ponzi-fund.com claims to be a real ponzi, and declares that it IS gambling. Haha. Pigs really do fly. (Cue the flying pigs commercial).